Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
