I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
