we have officially lost it.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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