dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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