Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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