Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
