What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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