So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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