There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
