I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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