I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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