I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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