i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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