belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
