DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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