Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
