everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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