you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Randomize
