you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
