I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize