some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
