Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
