with your own penis?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
