Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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