Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
