Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
