It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
