Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
