nut hugger
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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