Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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