are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
