At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize