careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
