I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
