I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we're so committed to being not committed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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