dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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