Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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