I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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