'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
