Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
