Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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