Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
