You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
