her vagine was all disorganized.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize