I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
What changed your mind?
Being sober
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
