she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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