Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
