You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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