Ambien. No doubt about it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
