I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize