Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize