its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
