all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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