what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
