One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
