this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
