NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
