FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just had sex on a roof
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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