please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize