dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
