he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
