Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize