I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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