Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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