Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
