she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
